why didn't you poke me back
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
