even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
