There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
