She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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