Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
