I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my shit smells like andre
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
