were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
how drunk are you?
Several
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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