I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
