everyone is single if you try hard enough
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
