we're blogging at a bar
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
pop tarts are not kleenex
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
