thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
