I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
