Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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