your room smells of hookers.
And success
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
