I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I could make wine with my vomit
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
