ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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