so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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