Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
