They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
