I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
