he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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