I'm laying in your front yard are you home
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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