I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
