So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
