ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
