some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
