Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
