so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
