i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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