Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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