new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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