You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
