I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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