I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
if only i could text you this smell
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
