My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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