doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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