how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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