doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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