spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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