come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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