I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
