could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
