Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
