We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you win again, gameday.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
