Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
birth control should be required to get into college
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
