Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
