I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
