my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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