You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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