all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
