Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
