i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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